25 August 2014

    Stumbling across this editorial spread while researching like crazy- what the art direction should be for an upcoming project... I fell head over stiletto heels in love with this shoot of Victoria Beckham for Vogue Turkey. It really gave me a new level of respect for the scowl faced lady... 
    I loved her really getting into character- and my god how I LIVE for the limo shot! Owning bitchy brattiness with a perfectly polished scream that shatters windows encrusted with diamonds... Genius Vogue Turkey!
    And Mrs. Beckham? I bow my head in respect, because from you this I did not expect. I love being taken by surprise. Truly I do. Possibly because I get off on "proving people wrong" or delivering to the client work that they didn't expect from a crazy little artsy fashion monster, who wears tights and doesn't notice or care when there's a tear... call me "elegantly disheveled" for all I care; it encompasses my aesthetic perfectly. 
    I'm not one whom doesn't pretend to tote around a faux Birkin attempting to pass it off as real. (the only things you should or can fake in life are: your hair, your nails and your tan- everything else- "keep it 100%)
    But hand to Jesus- in Beverly Hills- you have 0 idea how many of those bitches toting their bags are faux... It's disrespectful to the designer and the artist! if you can't afford it- there are plenty of options of how to look like a posh bitch with a stick up her ass and scoot down the street out of boredom because of how difficult it is to be a "housewife" in todays world... (this is where I plot a slow, tedious, and painful death at the sheer idea of that all... fucking losers). Yes I said it and I stand by it , un apologetically  so- because I say what I mean, what I said may be mean- but I meant every word. Especially coming from a really dark creature like me.. born and raised in Holmby Hills... I had to run to find out what authenticity is, and to understand what isn't. The truth? It's not "harsh"- it's quite fun actually... everyone is full of shit until proven otherwise. No? Xx bella


23 August 2014

little red riding hood

sophia lucia in red riding hood. I've been in love with this artist for two years now. Have to think of the perfect project... motion editorial... 

scary little monster

    Iphone's weren't "tweeting" or #hashtagging when I was dancing competitively from age 4... because they had not been invented yet unfortunately, which is why I live vicariously through dance moms...     
    When (and if) you were picked to do a solo, the first thought racing rampantly through my head thing, far before even the style I was assigned, was the piece of music. 
    The music brought my understanding of the character and the "mood" to set the tone for what my instructors wanted to bring out of me. A soft lyrical routine; was it set to a tone of anguish and pain? (mentally you then have "to go" to that place, a painful one to say the least, as I built up more material through the years, bringing it to the floor only fueled my dancing career to a higher level each time. 
    Or was it set to an exciting Jazz routine- feeling like you could give Beyonce's back up dancers a run for their money, as the fast paced turns and jumps were the focal point more than your arms a la second having a soft elegance with resistance. 
    Whatever the case may be- here is an ode to "little bellerina" (a nickname my studio slapped on as I was determined to get to the 32 fouettés, accomplished by age 10. Almost at 9, but with technique and no bobbles on my turns, 10). 
    Sarah Hunt did this piece justice without missing one dark little monster beat. Well done my little monster. From one to another. Xx bella

the song is "happy" by Drooom 

08 August 2014


JI was driving around the bend of Sunset Blvd as Sisilia and I were texting... Before we started planning her wedding. We went back and forth as she asked me what to "call" a picture of me chopping tomatoes while having a glass of red and wearing my favorite lynx coat with a cigarette dangling on my lips... Unsure of even why.. "The Bourgeois Butcher" it was! 

     The last time I cried so hard because I was so happy was 11.11.11 Sis texted me a link- as I sat dumbfounded at the computer screen... I was Vogue Italia's photo or the day...  
      And was "for sale" in the Corso Como Gallery ( Group exhibition for Vogue Italia in Milan, Italy)?!?!. (I wonder who bought me- hmm) 
      Having lost my mom 4.30.11 I got to cry for a different reason for once. And it was all because of my Sisilia... Her work speaks for itself, but to be a part of the start of an artists path, is not only an honor- but has a high that nothing could touch. I'm so proud of you Sisilia- and honored to have been your muse! 

Check out

On 11.11.11 I can say with every bit of confidence and certainty... It was the last time I cried so hard because I was so happy. Xx the amused muse... Bella 

03 July 2014





   Adjectivesusceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

  1. Synonymshelplessdefenselesspowerlessunguardedweaksusceptible

A terrifying word, especially to an artist- sending shivers up  my spine at the thought alone. Willing to be "naked", exposed, unguarded, and most of all and importantly of all- vulnerable. 

when you see certain artists when they perform, like no one is there, they're naked- getting lost in their "character", in their "art", and we just happen to be there watching. That's a difficult place to get to, and one that especially in private settings, is an even harder reach to chip away at the armor we hold up from the darts thrown at our hearts. 

bringing out the different "sides", our different bits and pieces that make us who we are... kudos to you Mr. Bravin... for walking in and automatically there was no wall at all. The hair stylist, assistants, make up, no one was "there", I've come all this way to find out how to come back again to being 8 years old, when my first perfectly pointed toe would hit the stage ready for my solo... because to Madame Bruner's credit, she said no one was watching when I danced, because I danced and get lost in it- and the audience was `there as onlookers, I didn't notice, nor care I'm sure. 

And that's exactly what Adam Bravin was able to do with me when shooting me for Elle Japan magazine... he had me naked, it was just us, and I wasn't scared to even be scared. He made me feel safe to be completely exposed. Thank you Adam.